Krzr ( phone )
F
There was a time, maybe 15 months ago, when I was very excited to get my brand new Motorola Krazor. The sleek design, the cutting edge bluetooth technology, even the MP3 playback excited me. When I first got it, I entered all of my contacts in at a rapid pace, spending all of my time downloading hip ringtones and portable versions of my favorite games like Jeopardy. I even had a cool wallpaper that had a tiny picture of all my speed dials in case I ever forgot.
About 14 months ago, however, the romance ended. If I could afford monetarily or temporaly (jail wise) to shove my Krzr up someone’e ass, I would. Oh the joy I would get out of taking this piece of shit and utilizing to it’s utmost potential. You might be thinking -“wud u call it 2c if it vibrated n sum1’s azz?”, to which I would respond - No, that would be fruitless as my phone doesn’t get service inside the Verizon building, nevermind lodged up someones rectal orifice. Furthermore, when it does get service, it doesn’t actually ring, it just turns white and then tells me I have a message.
Well that’s not so bad one might argue. Surely I can live with a few dropped calls and the constant process of checking my screen to see if I missed any important messages. Fine, that might be tolerable, save the fact that I can’t text message or play Jeopardy anymore, as my battery only last 7 minutes, which has somehow affected the graphics card on my phone which now turns black when you push more than 5 buttons in sequence.
Alas though, I convinced the nice lady at Verizon to replace my phone (the 4th Krzr I’ve had in 15 months) even though it wasn’t warrantied anymore. I kid you not when I say that the phone that was FedExed to me literally had the exact same problems. Maybe it’s the battery or the smart card you say? Nope, replaced both of them. So countless hours and 50 dollars later, I recieved my 5th Krazor the other day. So far it has worked perfectly, but in case you ever see me walking down the street on my phone, cover your ass, because I am one dropped call away from an assault & (cell phone) battery conviction.
