Slumdog Millionaire ( Movie )
B -
Didn’t somebody say this movie was good or something? I honestly thought I heard that the other day. I must’ve been mistaken because this movie was pretty much average. What an overrated piece of shit actually. This is akin to Hitler’s promises to the Germans. Why did anyone believe that garbage? Once things got going though, it was too late to go back. I feel like that’s what has happened to this movie. Someone said something good about it (probably Ebert, who recently gave Paul Blart three stars), and now everyone is too invested in it to tell the truth about it.
Here’s the deal with it. First things first, Danny Boyle, you grade A douchebag, learn how to use subtitles and language consistency. The subtitles look like a VH1 pop up video and are annoying and hard to read. Also, your characters don’t speak english for the first 40 minutes of the movie, and then all of a sudden speak fluent english exclusively for the duration. Is that really a strong choice, sir?
For those of you that don’t know, this movie is about a 20 year old kid that becomes a national hero by winning 20 million rupees on India’s version of ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?’ The producers think he cheated, because apparently even doctors and lawyers can’t get past the 60,000 rupees mark (which is by the way, bullshit), and they beat and torture past memories out of him of how he knows all the answers.
Reread that last paragraph, because you probably thought it was a bit. That’s actually what the movie is about. It’s the most forced, in my throat plot I’ve seen since Air Force One. The movie succeeds in depicting India, and it succeeds in telling the story of the protagonist Jamal. But who gives a fuck? I mean really? Depicting a small section of a country well does not a great movie make. City of God suffered from the same problem in my opinion, except that it succeeded in so many other ways that it ended up being a really fantastic movie.
And another thing. Boyle ‘Ridley Scotts’ the SHIT out of this movie. Who thought it was a good, artistic idea to slow frame rate down to like 4 fr/sec ? It’s one of the most annoying things a director can do, and it’s done ALOT in this movie. Please stop. You’re embarassing yourself.
Movie moves along fine. It’s well acted. It references the Three Musketeers several times, which saved it from a C rating. It’s not too long. But give me a fucking break with a Best Pic nom. Go watch Milk and jerk somebody off.
